We now take a moment to deliver these poetic safety announcements:
- READER BEWARE. Poetry is a gateway drug. It is a proven fact that most poetry readers go on to consume novels.
- Poetry causes dangerous hallucinations.
- Poetry induces abnormal ideas. Rebels, rioters and revolutionaries are frequently found to be poetry readers.
- Writing poetry may become a lifelong addiction; there is no known cure.
- Poetry is a stimulant; it may prompt users to behave in ways that put themselves and others at risk.
- Readers who share poems are at risk of contamination of numerous poetically transmitted diseases including, but not limited to: philosophy, melancholy, and love.